Adapt

I'm posting this from Austin, TX... where I've spent the past 2 years prior to my mother's sudden illness. I'm enjoying the festivities of SXSW for the weekend and the great weather along with it.

Early last week we interviewed with social security (disability). Unfortunately, my mother was turned down due to not having enough credits to qualify for disability benefits (she has mostly been a homemaker until she began working last year). I'd like to push for an attorney to appeal the decision... she has worked and contributed her earnings to social security throughout her lifetime, so you never know.

My mother does have private insurance. However, the reality is, they don't cover everything 100% and with as long as she's been in the hospital (today is March 20th, she was admitted Dec. 24th...) and with as many physicians she's seen, surgical procedures... the medical equipment she will need once she is released (wheelchair, prosthesis, etc.)... it adds up and we're beginning to fear she's going to max out soon. Of course, it's 5pm on Friday and now I'm remembering I was supposed to call her insurance to find out her running total of costs! Anyway, what I'm getting at is money is suddenly seeming to become a very real issue. (Thank you, by the way, so very much to those of you who have contributed to her medical fund... you have our warmest thanks and gratitude). Fortunately, Esy spoke with a former social worker recently and has tapped into a long list of resources available for scenarios like this. There is hope; it's just going to require patience and diligence.

Shortly after the disability interview, my mother developed shingles which are commonly stress-induced. Shingles have set her back some on progress. She also has a scab on her right leg that has not healed and her surgeon may decide to graft skin on that area again. This will add some recovery time, pushing back further the date to move on to rehab.

Last week, a very special visitor came to meet with my mom- Jennifer Griffin, who is also a sepsis survivor and quadruple amputee. Her story is quite inspiring and I'm so happy to have found her. She was very sweet and gave my mom a slip on hand tool that holds a pen so she can write. Just the day before, Dee was terribly upset because she could no longer write the way she used to. Since then she's been practicing her penmanship, which is also a part of her physical therapy.

I helped my mom brush her teeth... she's been practicing and can hold the toothbrush with her thumb. She did pretty well but still required a little help. I told her not to worry, that she would once again be able to do the things she has done before; it will just take some time as she'll have to find new ways of doing them.

I would just like to encourage any family and friends who have not been able to visit lately, that it is perfectly safe for you to stop by and see her, shingles or not. Children who have either already had chicken pox or been vaccinated (over the age of 2) are not at risk. Just be sure to practice good hand hygiene (wash hands and wear gloves). You may also want to wear a gown if your clothes come into contact with her bed linens. Really the only way you would contract it is if you touch her open sores... these are just some precautionaries to follow, and if it makes you feel any better they're already beginning to clear up.

Since I'm in Austin this weekend, please tell her you're stopping by on my behalf. No pressure. :)

Hands

I've always had a fondness for hands. They can sometimes be pleasantly attractive. I remember I would sometimes look at my mom's hands and notice the skin, shiny and a little taut... and I would think, "what pretty hands."

Sometimes, my mom would make it to where you couldn't notice anything except her fingers. The middle ones in particular. She's very feisty. When she was younger, one of her middle fingers got caught shut on a car door. The healed tip had an odd little shape to it. This was one of the things I feared I would miss the most as she lay in bed, not yet awake from her medicinal coma in the hospital as her fingers turned to black and were withering away like leaves that had fallen from a tree.

I asked my step dad if it was weird that I occassionally have a hard time remembering my mother the way she once was... it seems so long ago. He said in agreement, "yeah, it does seem like a long time ago."

The wound care team decided it was time to leave her hands exposed; the skin, though still a little scabby with edges peeling off, has healed on both hands and has a normal tint. The plastic surgeon who worked on her hands once mentioned he was a "hands man," that was his specialty- indeed. Her right hand in particular still has it's old shape, minus the fingers. And as strange as it sounds, I think it's quite pretty despite everything it's been through. She was able to keep the skin originally on her palm so it looks the same as before. The back of her hand has skin borrowed from her back. Her left hand is a little smaller because she lost a few knuckles starting from where her pinky once was, and the skin on the palm is partially borrowed. Both thumbs are wrapped up to protect them... they still have a little ways to go because the tips are now gone, but she does have the knuckles to bend and straighten them. She calls them her "dancing thumbs".

The wound care doctor gave her clearance to bear weight on her right hand, and her occupational therapist (OT) has been working on strengthening her shoulders and arms to where she can become more independent. She gave her a Velcro cuff that wraps around her hand, and small items like a spoon, fork, toothbrush, etc. fits into a slit on the cuff. The first time I saw my mom use it, her task was to scoop up dry lentil beans and empty them into a bowl. Her OT joked that she would have to count them all! Yesterday, I walked into her room at lunch time and she had just finished feeding herself for the first time! She did a great job, really... her only mess was two beans (pinto, cooked) that had dropped onto her lap.

Once a week, her care staff meets to review her progress. During the most recent meeting, everyone agreed she has been healing much faster than anyone could have anticipated. She might be released in as early as two weeks (which is now about a week and a half away) and transfer to rehab for an additional two weeks of therapy, then may be cleared to return home.

When she comes back home, she'll be wheelchair bound because her hands and legs won't be ready for prosthesis just yet- it may be a few months before that process begins. But at rehab she should learn how to transfer herself from a wheelchair to her bed or bathtub bench... we just have to make sure everything is ready at home for her return. Talk about a nightmare, clearing out the clutter and preparing to rennovate the house so that she can once again function at home. My step-dad and little brother are stuck with that task.

I might be a little unbiased because it's not mine to deal with, but really, it's a good problem to have.

Save The Date - Benefit Show (Mother's Day Weekend)

I'm working on a benefit show which will be held the day before Mother's Day. Several acoustic acts, myself included, will be performing. Details as follows:

Saturday, May 9, 2pm-midnight

Mother's Day Benefit

Opening Bell -South Side on Lamar, 1409 S. Lamar Suite #012, Dallas, TX (MAP)

Treat your mother to this special event honoring Mother's Day, featuring live music from local artists. Benefiting Delia King - quadruple amputee and septicemia survivor, hosted by her daughter Karen Naomi. Suggested $10 Donation.

Thanks to those who were able to stop by for the birthday celebration over the weekend - we had a great turnout and my mother truly enjoyed herself!